No healing. No progress...

if I was to heal from my wounds I will bask in joy
I will smile again
I will care again
I will simply enjoy life like life should be enjoyed
No heart pains, no regrets, living free spirited
Allowing love back in to shine light on the dark times...
However, if I was to heal from my wounds, only then can I...

Despondent correspondence with self.....

all down to the taste does one seem so bitter when in every corner turned lies another excuse in why success can't be attain through legitimate ways rather than illicit means.....
Redemption is key for a sane mind to keep you free....

october 23, 2009

when a certain situation sticks to your every thought things tend to get a little bit out of control. today was one of the most mind bobbling days ever.... i could'nt quite get a grip on myself due to a certain situation which i am still trying to overcome. my every move was dominated let alone, my every thought by this one situation. it deemed relentless havoc on me. merciless on its crusade to destroy my sanity.... with every punch i threw it threw twenty back. i scream for help but my cries are muffled by its roar of darkness. alone i face this extraordinary adversary. preparing for the ultimate defeat were my only options. until i heard through a light warble the words HOPE and, FORGIVENESS did i not realize that this ain't the only option....... sooner than i could think i was regaining my inner self back, until all of me came back to its entirely....... and there i was finishing my day with a different view on the many issues we sane human beings face in life..... which leaves me to say this.... its not the way you fall that counts, its the way you get up that matters...........

facts

The strongest and most powerful thing in this world is the MIND! it carries out the most marvelous of creations. the keenest of calculations, an instrument only of it's kind.

The most fragile and vulnerable thing in this world is the HEART! it holds in the most profound of love and concern for the other and,

Today.............

Today i woke up with the most positive attitude. one i have not had in so long. I realize that I, one day would accomplish all that i seek and desire through my my hard work and perseverance. No longer would i let the claws of deception cling on to me. i have my armor on.
I am ready for today's challenges.!

Caught up...............

This is crazy. not only is it crazy, it's dangerous! lately I've been caught up in this romance that i never thought i will be in. it feels strange and at the same time it feels good.
See here is the thing, most of my youth was deprive from me leaving me to become a man before my time. i never experience a lovey, lovey relationship or should i say fling? anyhow, i never had a chance to go out and have fun without a care in sight with someone as vibrant and out going like myself. then all of a sudden BAM! here she is out of no where. now all the fun stuff i was supposed to do when i was younger i find myself doing it now with this new girl. holding hands while we walk, kissing in public, just doing things together period. It feels awesome! i Would not traded in for nothing. But, there is a slight problem. She is about ten years my junior! this is where things get complicated. giving that she's younger than me should i not take her seriously? nor belive her feelings for me are real as she bellows them to me? she does show interest in me as if she wants a future with me so should i stay on this plane or jump off while i can? this is driving me wild!
I've decided to enjoy the moment and if something do come out out of this, ride it safe in case i fall off that way the fall wont be as hard.
you only live once. and why not have all the fun you can!

in search of.......

my thoughts take me back where i want to be. in her warm embrace is where i dire to be. reluctantly she opens her arms to me, not sure if that's where she wants to be. should i give up and let her leave? or should i try to convince her that this is where she needs to be? okay, let me see...
I have decided to let her leave so she could go where she wants to be......not with me she rather be, with her is where i had planed to be, now the only thing i could do is watch her leave.....